Challenge the Status Quo: Grow a Badass Beard

With all eyes on four-time champion Rich Froning, it’s hard not to miss the bearded style that has become trendy among CrossFit athletes. Owner and creator of the unique line of clothing known as BeardGod Apparel, Torin Simpson, says there’s a simple explanation for that: Women find it sexy! “Science backs that up,”he says. Simpson, himself a self-defined average CrossFitterand bearded athlete, goes on to say with a poker-straight face that,

“A beard has the ability to increase your overall fitness level by 400 percent. If your beard is long enough, try trapping it under the bar in the front rack position: guaranteed PR on your front squat. On pull-ups, you only have to get your beard to the bar, so you’re sure to move much more efficiently.”

Who’s going to argue with that?

When asked how they came up with the name, Torin says, “My brother and I were spit-balling ideas. Eventually one of us, I can’t remember which one, said Jesus had a beard. And so did Zeus and Odin. We started to see a theme. It wasn’t about religion, but what having a beard represents.”

Indeed they stumbled upon a fitting theme, unbeknownst to them! Urban Dictionary actually defines God’s Beard as “Something so awesome, no other words can describe it. The epitome of greatness.The Holy Grail of all things amazing. Divine in nature because of the sheer intensity with which its magnificence radiates outward.”“We didn’t bother to check Urban Dictionary,”Torin says, “but damn, that’s nearly spot on.”

So, if Simpson considers himself an “average”CrossFit participant, and Rich Froning is the exemplar bearded warrior, then what defines the synthesized product known as the “bearded athlete?”Surprisingly, it has little to do with PRs and podium medals. In fact, it even has little to do with facial hair! According to Torin, a bearded athlete defines someone who will “Train harder, work harder, and be the most determined athlete [they] can be… Reject the status quo. Beard or no beard.”

CrossFit rejects the status quo for fun. In fact, anyone who’s serious about the sport has already risen above the masses to prove that the so-called impossible is just one snatch, one pull-up, or one clean and jerk away. Female CrossFitters outright refuse to accept the dainty and polite gender role they’ve been assigned, preferring instead to grunt their way through 80 pull-ups, clench their teeth lifting three times their own body weight, and break a serious sweat finishing a 400-metre sprint in less than a minute and a half. There isn’t a single thing about CrossFit that blends in with the status quo.

With conviction, Simpson says, “Having a beard makes you feel different. For us it represents the confidence to reject the status quo if one chooses to carve out one’s own path, despite what hurdles lie ahead. We hope that every man and woman finds the confidence to be their own person and the determination to succeed… Beards come and go, but challenging the status quo, that’s as old as man and will never die.”

The instructions are as simple as the requirements of a “BeardGod Badass Beard of the Week”: Step one, be yourself. Step two, kick ass. Step 3, refuse to apologize for either. And finally, wear your outright defiance of presumed normalcy like a badge (of beard) of honour with BeardGod apparel.